Days to remember

Each year, there are many days to remember such as holidays, special occasions and events. These days are often surrounded in hype, festivities and celebration. They also surface a lot of memories of moments shared with family and friends.

That’s why the saying rings true… we do not remember days, we remember moments.

If a loved one has recently been lost, experiencing these days and remembering the moments that surround them can cause a devastating setback. Simply hearing ads promoting holidays on the radio, walking through the shops or chatting with a neighbour can remind you of your loss. Often during these times grief and emotions come flooding back

One of the hardest days to bear is the anniversary of the death, particularly in the early years. It’s common to remember all the things you did together. Even the change of the seasons can trigger many emotions where smells, colours and nature remind you of your loved one.

Sundays often represent family days spent together. Then there are key holidays such as Easter, Anzac Day and Christmas. Add into the mix birthdays, anniversaries, and other events - even your own birthday may trigger a wave of emotions as your loved one is not there to celebrate with you.

These days are a time to reflect and a time to be aware of your own grief as well as that of others.

Be prepared for difficult days, anticipate them and prepare for them.

One of the problems for grievers is that it’s hard to know if it's OK to share these memories and feelings as those around you probably think you have moved on and are no longer still affected by your loss.

• Find the right person who is sensitive to such triggers – this can make a real difference to the way you or others cope with them.
• There is nothing more comforting than being able to share and reminisce with someone, even cry with someone. Coping with grief doesn’t have to be done alone. Sometimes words don’t need to be said. Maybe a silent hug would be better.
• Crying is coping. It just makes others feel awkward so they often urge you to be strong and think of all your happy memories. Crying is okay and not crying is okay. But it’s said that crying with someone has a better effect on you than crying alone!

For more information and tip sheets on how to cope with grief, we recommend visiting MyGriefAssist.

Here is a list of key days to remember:

• ANZAC Day & Remembrance Day
• Easter
• Christmas
• Birthdays
• Anniversaries